Put Me Down

Have you ever been in a relationship/friendship where the other person put you down in order to lift themselves up? Were they successful? How did it make you feel? Is this person still in your life? Or were you able to move on? Ever wonder what makes a person behave in such a manner? Or better yet, are you this type of person?

In my experiences in dealing with people like that, I found that most of the time this behavior stemmed from something deeper than what it appeared to be like an insecurity, a fear or low self esteem that the person is harboring. I encourage you to not take it personal. It is not you, it's them. If you value the person and truly want to continue the relationship, I encourage you to talk to them once the emotions are gone and seek to understand the root of the behavior. If not, then let it go and move forward. And do not allow someone's negative opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.

If you are the person putting folks down, then I encourage you to turn that negative energy into something positive by taking a look at yourself and facing the demons within. Maybe you are fearful of losing the person so you try to devalue them in hopes that they will become dependent on trying to please you. Or perhaps you are jealous and insecure so you try to tear them down in order to make yourself feel better about your own circumstances. Whatever the case, it is not positive for you or for them. You should address the issue and work thru it to become a better you. I promise you that as a result of it, you will increase your positive experiences in your relationships.

This is a topic that I have personal experiences in as both the receiver and deliverer of this behavior. I once had a friendship that I valued deeply and when things started to change, my fear of losing that person caused me to be evil towards them. While I meant the things that I said, my delivery of the message was downright nasty and for that I feel remorse. I have apologized and asked for forgiveness, which I never received and that is ok because I have freed myself from the negative energy and learned a valuable lesson about human behavior that I have been able to apply to all of my other friendships. However the bigger lesson for me was the self discovery of a very negative behavior within myself that I have been able to face and correct. I am now a much stronger person and am a better friend to others as a result of it.



Peace & Love,

Rae