Are you In The Right Relationship?

I read an article about relationships recently and the author asked a young lady 13 thought provoking questions to assess the health of her relationship. I thought it was pretty interesting so I am sharing it with you.

1. Is my life better now that he/she is in it?




2. Do I feel free to express my feelings, needs and desires? Or do I feel like I have to keep them to myself to avoid a disagreement?




3. When I tell him/her what I need to feel emotionally safe, validated and cared for, does he/she try to meet my needs? Or does he/she minimize my feelings and go back to doing the same things that I told him/her are hurtful, insensitive or disrespectful?




4. Can I be totally vulnerable with him/her and let him/her see the raw, uncut me? Or do I feel the need to go into a self-protective mode because I cannot trust him/her to be sensitive to my human weaknesses and insecurities?




5. Is he/she supportive of me and concerned about what’s going on in my life? Or is he/she too absorbed with himself/herself to even notice?




6. Is this man/woman willing to put his/her pride and ego aside to show me that I matter to him/her? Or does he/she play childish games making every interaction feel like a chess match?




7. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the most important and 10 being the least, how much of a priority am I in this man’s/woman's life? Does he/she make me feel like I’m a primary factor in his/her world or does he/she treat me like just another item on his/her to-do-list squeezing me in when he/she can carve out the time?




8. Do you find yourself doing most of the compromising and accommodating? Or is it a give and take situation with both of you doing all you can to make it work?




9. Do you feel frustrated and upset with him/her most of the time?




10. If you were to sit down and write out the pros and cons of being with him/her, which list would be longer?




11. At the end of the day when you sit back and think of him/her, does he/she make you feel good? Or does he/she make you feel bad?




12. When you think about the things he/she says to you, are there more compliments or complaints?




13. If you have children from a previous relationship, does he consider them as part of the package or does he see them as a liability?

And I would like to add: What are his/her spiritual views?

Picking a partner to share your life with should not be based solely on physical attributes, financial portfolios or superficial possessions. It should include a deeper assessment of a person's character because at the end of the day what a person looks like, how much money they have or things that they possess will mean absolutely nothing in the light of how they treat you, how much integrity they have, if they are honest, trustworthy and respectful or simply a good person whose actions mirror their words.

I read a quote that said Choosing the right person will determine 90% of your happiness or misery. I believe that! So I encourage you to take your time before making a decision on who to give your heart to.

I am sure you can create your own list of "priority questions", but this is a really nice start. Wouldn't you agree?

Peace & Love,

Rae